Proposal

Where would humanity be without the thinkers who shook the world in generations gone by?  The people who questioned where the world was flat or round?  The people who asked if the sun really did rotate the world?  The people who looked at the out house and asked, "Can't we fix this?"

These are the likes of people who inspire those around them and make the world an entirely different place for all the people who inhabit it.  These people changed the world first with their minds by coming up with an idea, then with their hands by taking it to some level where it could change everything.  And because of them we have the modern world.

These were people who could see what the world needed and worked towards those ends.  And lets face it, we all in some way or another want to count ourselves among them.

I grew up admiring such people and to this day I admire people.  In fact, I don't know what my childhood would be like had I not admired Relient K for dreaming of a better world in many of their songs (Particularly Mood Rings).  And now, when I listen to the Five Iron Frenzy song, "My Evil Plan the Save the World", I can't help but get that same impression.

And this is coming at me from everywhere.  I picked up a copy of a book for an upcoming trip and flipped through the first page to discover it is about a brilliant young man who is waiting for his eureka moment.  Aren't we all, Colin Singleton.

But, unlike the masses, I think I have developed an idea that will change the world.  Many years in the future, when you're looking at your happy grandchildren, you'll think back to this blog post and say, "My, oh my.  He sure was a visionary."

However, we all have to face the simple fact of life that I currently do not have the stage someone needs to change the world.  Which is why I'm passing on this torch to you.  Someone will find this, someone with the power to change things, and for such a person I donate this idea.  Do not think you'll need to credit or thank me, anonymous beneficiary.  I am doing this solely for the good of mankind.

But, I am getting ahead of myself, aren't I?  I really should be showing your my idea.  So here is my proposal for the good of human life in general.

I suggest that girls, starting at age four, shall be given three movies a year which will constitute required viewing.  Specifically, they will be given content that will form their minds to make them more useful members of society.  The movies will adjust their perception of life and because of that all of us, male and female alike, will be happier.

To get quite to the point, every girl shall be given three romantic comedies (And I use the word comedy here in the loosest way possible, as they are more often than not entirely un-comedic) each year which will help form their assumptions about the way the world works.

Now, you are probably already looking at this idea with more than a little skepticism.  How, you wonder, will this help me?  Or anyone?  Those films are garbage.

And if you do wonder that, you are quite correct.  Do not think that I am propping these films up as some sort of ideal of story telling.  They aren't.  Some are amusing, but as a genre I have found them quite often disappointing.

So why would we force young girls to view at least three a year for a decade and a half?  Well, the benefits come in three basic areas.

1) They will serve as a reminder for young girls what the relationship between emotional and physical intimacy is.

Over the course of forty-eight movies, these girls will obviously see a smattering of consistent themes and ideas.  But, primarily in the films we will ease them into in the later stages of the process, they will see that emotional intimacy must always be connected to physical intimacy.  After all, what are the words, "I love you", the hours spent together, the secrets and moments shared if they do not lead to kissing or more?

They will see that the true proof of any relationship is not how much the parties involved are willing to sacrifice for each other or how much they'd give up to make the other member happier, but that it is how far they are willing to go physically with each other.  They might "aw" at the scene of the couple first confessing their love for each other, but they will really see the impact that physical connections can have.

This is a message that needs to be heard.  Seriously, can you imagine what the fallout would be if we had this generation growing up under the impression that romantic love is based around deep emotions that they can hardly fathom throughout most of their formative years?  Wouldn't it be much more beneficial for them to understand that physical intimacy is the sign of a healthy relationship?

2) They will provide young girls with a much more realistic sense of what they can expect from the opposite gender.

In a certain sense this is intrinsically connected to the last point, but important enough to this cause of changing the world that it deserves it's own bullet point.  Simply, if we can plant the right seeds in young minds we can entirely change what they think they should be receiving in a healthy romantic relationship, and that is central to this revolution.

First, we must remember that all stories require conflict to be entertaining.  With out conflict, The Lord of the Rings would not be an epic fantasy adventure, but just a really long walk.  Tolkien would have to throw in a puppy so at the very least there could be entertaining moments where the puppy gets into something it shouldn't have (The highlight of the story would likely be the scene where the puppy eats all of their lembas bread.  Can't you just see it now?).

This is no different in the genre in discussion here.  And from my thorough research (Watching trailers on the internet and being related to multiple females by blood), I have come to the conclusion that many romantic comedies actually use the same tropes to tell their stories.  Surprising?  Yes, but true.  One of the most common ones is picking a couple that couldn't ever love each other, and then making them fall for each other.

And since the female audience is supposed to root for the girl in the relationship, it is often the guy who must provide the conflict.  He does this by either being incredibly perfect, or in the case I've seen more frequently, by being entirely horrible.  Movies like this will shape girls into thinking that they must learn to accept slobs, jerks, and philanderers because that is just what guys are like.  They are dirty jerks.

How does this help anyone?

It will lower the female standard for a romantic partner to a much more reasonable level.  For instance, lets take the example of Mr. Darcy compared to Gerald Butler's character from "The Ugly Truth".  As mentioned before, I have done extensive research by living in the same house (For a quite extended period of time) with multiple members of the opposite gender.  As such, I have seen the sixty-seven hour version of Pride and Prejudice more times than I would like to admit.

In that film, we have the seemingly brutish Mr. Darcy (Portrayed by Colin Firth), who at first seems like the last person alive our hero (The girl whose name I can't remember) would ever consider marrying, except for possibly the incredibly charming Mr. Collins (Whose proposal is perhaps the greatest moment in the entire movie).  Wait, hold your horses, you are currently shouting.  Are you saying that this lowering of standards has been around as long as Pride and Prejudice?

If only.  You see, it turns out that Mr. Darcy is actually very kind and sensitive.  However, when outside his comfort zone and under pressure he comes across as brooding and arrogant.  But we see the good side in him, like how he treats his sister or how he repairs the things he destroyed in his arrogance.  In the end he turns out to be charming and all of that stuff.

On the other hand we have Gerald Butler.  As I am trying to make this entire concept as legitimate as possible, I also did research for his character in The Ugly Truth.  By which I mean that I watched the trailer, read a review, and skimmed a plot synopsis.  This is practically the gospel truth and any errors are obviously just you misunderstanding this.  And from my extensive research, I have deduced that this is a perfect candidate for the revolution.

Gerard Butler's character is a scum-bag.  A womanizer.  All of that stuff that will lower any girl's perception of what she can expect from a fulfilling relationship to a reasonable level.  After all, what is easier?  Appearing to be harsh and cold, but actually being a caring man who could nurture a positive relationship, or being a sleazebag?

So how this will work is simple.  Starting with innocent, innocuous movies, each year's flicks will get sketchier and messier until the child is absolutely convinced, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that all men are scumbags but it is her job to fall in love (Read: fulfill their physical urges) with them anyways.  Why start with movies that might actually showcase real love?  Well, because are not here to make scars.  If we started with the brutal movies that we'll work towards we will scar the child's brain, leaving a permanent mark, but we will not mold it.

Slowly, we will ease them into the concepts we want them to embrace, instead of forcing them on the child from age four.  This way, the child will start with what they, for some reason, might actually be taught later in life to hunger for.  But, we will make the connection, piece by piece and brick by brick, between that concept of pure, chaste love and the scumbags we want them to embrace.

3) They will remind girls of their fundamental role in society and their identity as females.

Remember this next detail because it is the peg upon which this entire concept hangs: females are meant to associate with the female lead.  All good stories are meant to put you, in some degree or another, into another person's shoes.  This is how story telling works, and without it no one would exit a movie theater with tears running down their cheeks.

This is why certain movies work better for some people than for other people.  It all depends on what you can or can't buy as real.  Who you can or can't associate with.  Why do you think a generation of nerds have flocked around the frequently bullied, skinny, glasses wearing Harry Potter?  He is a hero to them.

The young girls in our revolution will witness a few things in the females they watch, whether it be spunky character or something like that, but above all of that they will see one thing in particular that we want to be ingrained into their mind.  It is the best kind of idea for shaping a young mind with.  A simple, basic idea that determines their entire life.  What is it?

No woman, no matter what her class in life, will ever be satisfied until she is in the arms of a male.

While it may never consciously cross our young student's minds, they idea will be planted so deep into them that it will dictate their entire life.  They will see television show producers, businesswomen, and all other sort of females that might cross their screens.  And they will see that none of them were complete, happy, or even really fulfilling their potential as a human until one day fate intervened.

Whether they realize it or not, guys will become the center of their lives.  After all, each movie they are obligated to watch will remind them that the story is completed when the girl finally gets a guy.  Any other goals for their life will be cast aside in comparison to this new goal.  Boys.

It might make them mildly uncomfortable a little bit of the time, but that is to be expected with such a revolutionary concept as this.  For instance, when they are fifteen and single, we will be reinforcing this idea that there is something wrong with her.  She'll feel the shame that comes with trying to make the most of her education or starting a life of gainful employment because she is not spending that time the way she should be.

And, as we all must realize, the way she should be spending her time is doing whatever it takes to get the attention of a guy.  Shed pounds.  Get surgery.  Spend a small fortune on paint to splash across her face.  But, that is what should happen to a young girl who denies what she is made to do.  Her life is meant for finding a guy.  What do you do after that point?  I have a better question for you:

Who cares?

Romance is what the world wants and it is what the world needs.  Whether or not this leads to healthy families that act as supports for society is beside the point.  In fact, some might even think that I am doing this to make sure there is another generation that's mind can be shaped, but that is not even the core either.

What this is about is making sure that girls realize their life is about romance.  Not goals.  Not steady families.  It is about passion.  Why is it about passion and romance?  That is a question of the fundamental nature of humanity that I might not be in the place to answer, but my time in this society (My research, as it were) has resounded with this demand for romance.

We will provide that.

Girls will become the slaves of the need for a boyfriend.  They will fulfill the cultural demand for romance, and they will do whatever it takes to get to that goal.  This is where they will find meaning and happiness.  This is why this is the concept that will change the world.  It will finally provide the world with the answer to the question it has been seeking since the dawn of time: what is the point of life?

Romance.

What happens after the "romantic" stage?  Where do we go when there isn't passion anymore, but just the crumbling remainder of what was once such passion?  What can we do with things like loyalty?  A willingness to compromise?  True, abiding love?  What are we to do with such old fashioned concepts?

That's the great thing about this revolution.  It will provide the answer to those questions as well.  What happens after the passionate stage?  Credits.

And the great thing is that these three concepts will work together to provide us with true utopia after all of this.  Girls will feel a deep, yearning hunger for the affections of any male, and they will be open to any male because of their conditioning to accept that guys are brutes, and when they find a male that is willing to take them, they will quickly become physically intimate with them.

That is how they will recognize true romance.

So, who will usher in this change?  Who has a podium big enough to make this happen?  Who can take this idea, this flash of genius, and make it into a reality?  It can change the world.  It can fix the world.  This is my proposal to all of you, and with it we can usher in a new era.  We will be the revolutionaries who dared ask if the world really was flat.